Leadership, the Flow of Ideas, and Creating the Experience

Growing up one of my best friends ( We will call him “TheTot”) and I loved sitting around the dinner table waiting for his mom to serve us fresh Norwegian Waffles while we we dreaming up things we would do if we had access to some of the more “Expensive” toys in the world.

It was our own little pure bliss world and we had a great deal of fun doing this.

At this point in my life I was a fish in water, but did not know it. My senses, my energy, and my whole being was operating optimally as far as I could tell, and I simply took it all for granted. I was just flowing through life quite naturally without a care in the world. Everything was delightful.

An analogy for this would be that at that stage of my life, if my life force was a garden hose then it was completely unkinked and fully pressured at all times at the thoughts just flowed freely like a ball in in a river stream. And I always expected it to be like this no matter what.

Then at age 12 after having moved to Purdue University after a month of being there it felt as if my senses were completely disconnected or as if someone took my garden hose and put a kink in it that stopped the water from flowing completely. At this point my senses were gone essentially and I was always tired, did not know if something was funny, and the joy of life had been completely sapped. I had to fight for every thought and nothing came naturally, not even facial expressions, as my face felt mostly numb.

And so I spent the next 30 years getting to the root of this and that is what this article is about:

Now that I feel like I’m back to my good old self I’ve had a chance to reflect on some of the ways I was acting while I was in the “Bubble” or what felt like a “Mental Straight Jacket”.

And one of the behaviors I wanted to focus in on is that the dynamic between my best friend and I changed. I changed it by being an easily frustrated, bratty, depressed little rat. That’s just me giving an honest assessment of myself.

We were on vacation in the Bahamas and we were out to dinner. I was 12 and I was talking about how when I moved back to Norway I was taking a Corvette with me back home, because after having lived in the states for 5 years we can bring 1 car in tax free and a Corvette in Norway will cost a few houses.

So my friend “TheTot” said “Oh can you bring one for me to!!” and I gave him a douche bag rational reply and after I gave it I felt even more depressed than before, but that was just how I was flowing at the time and I did not know how to make it different, just given my state of mind.

But what is clear to me now is what I wish I had said or done different while being sensitive and open to us as human beings with our dreams, feelings, and aspirations and I wish I had known how to construct the experience that I am projecting with whatever I wish to share better, as I’m attempting to do with this article.

Because when we were younger just dreaming up things we would do with things we could never afford we were having a blast and it had nothing to do with reality at all, yet we were having a great deal of fun doing this, and ideally we find ways to keep this alive through all our interactions with each other.

And one thing that I find helpful, especially in thinking about stressful traumatic situations or difficult interactions is that if we get a cut on our finger, what is it that heals that? That is the energy and intelligence underlying all of us and that is our base, and that energy is always trying to optimize our experience and guide us, and that runs through all of us.

The experience is what matters. The energy and sensation of the interaction (Both within ourselves and others).

Or as Alan Watts would put it:

The art of living… is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging to the past on the other. It consists in being sensitive to each moment, in regarding it as utterly new and unique, in having the mind open and wholly receptive.

— Alan Watts

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store